There are many unique challenges in my day to day work life that most people may find unacceptable or abhorrent, that I merely find entertaining. I believe it makes me capable and adept at my position of a Recruiter; taking things as they come, and allowing strange instances to shine with the bright shade of comedy instead of the darker hues of distaste and negativity. Today was the day I drew my line in the sand with a specific behavior I designated as profanely inappropriate: an older trainee disrupting my private bathroom time.
I walked in at the usual time every morning after my oatmeal and Starbucks coffee, ready for my relaxation and therapy known as Stall #1. To my dismay it was occupied so with minor irritation I settled for Stall #2 which was the middle stall of a restroom containing three stalls. This proceeded to be the first lapse of judgment that morning. While I was settling in comfortably for the duration, another person entered the room and acquired Stall #3. "Hell" I thought "A full house." so I proceeded in mentally talking myself down from the anxiety ledge. As I'm willing myself to focus and not inadvertently welcome stage fright, the woman in my coveted Stall #1 suddenly exclaims at DEFCON 1 level;
"OH MY GOODNESS! I LOVE YOUR SHOES!!!!"
I perked up in horror in my contained area praying she wasn't talking to me. I jerk my head down to look at the girl to my right who was wearing a strange style of leather type worn sandal librarians sometimes wear and suddenly knew beyond a shadow of all doubt it was to my unfortunate stall she was addressing.
I ignored it.
Librarian shoes next to me assumes she is the gracious recipient of this compliment and chimes in with "Oh you do???? Oh thank you! I got these from my sister who's a teacher, so I'm surprised you like them"
Stage fright is starting to ascend so I frantically start bashing the flusher on the toilet in efforts to enforce the silence that SHOULD be commencing in the public bathroom, and to hopefully allow swift movement so I'm able to depart without being required to answer. However, they don't allow this racket to deter them in any way. They simply raise the volume of their bawdy across-the-stalls conversation to be heard above my deliberately boisterous water-wasting activities.
Loudmouth proceeds with "I just love them, the two toned pattern on them is really quite adorable. In my day we didn't have heels that looked like that...."
Confusion has now set in on the opposite stall and I can almost envision in the sudden silence the girl cock her head to the side like a confused beagle and say "Heels? Oh..........I thought you were talking to me!"
Loudmouth "No, this young lady in the stall next to me with the fabulous fashion sense"
So now the poop has effectively reversed back up into this young lady's bowels, nesting uncomfortably back into my intestines and set up Vacation Bible Camp for the rest of the day. I'm one hundred percent certain there are picket lines and angry curse words being flung about up there while I angrily flush the toilet again and slam the seat around to make my point. I am still utterly and completely ignoring these two women.
I ask you this readers; who finds bathroom conversation acceptable? Who doesn't understand the rules of engagement when it comes to restroom etiquette? We all understand at a young age that we go to that far off place deep in the imagination and pretend no one else is in there while we do our daily business. This is not the location I want to hear about how adorable my shoes are or asked when I got my last pedicure. Take note readers, there are weirdos out there that find this time to be the most convenient moment to comment on such things and we must continue the fight to ignore and sustain silence. Only this may change poor behavior in these social pariahs that have never learned or absorbed this valuable lesson of keeping your trap shut while people are deep in the throes of restroom concentration.
Our colon may never forgive us if we don't.
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