It's T minus 3 months until I need to be at my fittest and be the desired weight for a specific personal goal I've set for myself. That being said, my running partner has since injured himself and cannot accompany me during the duration. Last night I made the huge blunder of taking my children and as I'm certain the entire neighborhood heard my not-so-pleasant hollerings of "COMON!" "SYDNEY PICK IT UP!" "NOAH YOUR STOMACH IS FINE, TUCK IN YOUR SKIRT!" to motivate them into keeping up with me it was not an eventful exercise regimen as we only accomplished a single mile in 22 minutes. So tonight I had the Herculean task of trying to convince James to allow me to go alone. I brought up several compelling arguments that the kids were not acceptable running companions as they complained the entire way and were 3.5blocks behind me for almost the entire breadth the night before. James suggested taking along our slightly overweight black lab as he could obviously use some exercise and would love to join me. To which I immediately shot down in saying that Max was too fat to keep up with me.
James then lost patience and said, "I don't really care about your pace and who's going to slow you down I care about your safety!"
Oh. Okay. Sometimes it is terribly inconvenient for us compulsive-types to be married to someone who has logic. I then weakly stated, "James I am a fast runner"
to which he replied, "I am not at my most athletic at this point of my life and I can outrun you as if you were standing still"
I stood my ground and plead my case in the form of whining and bellyaching until finally he threw up his hands in exasperation and told me this would be my one and only time I could go by myself while it was dark.
Hightailing it out of there before he changed his mind was key at this point so I gathered up my iPhone and headphones and scampered out the door. I wound the ear buds around the back of my neck so it wouldn't become tangled and started my jog. Something very strange was going on with my iPhone however, and as I ran the sum of 5steps I skipped through about 37 songs. There seemed to be some sort of problem with the settings and every time that I would move my arm the song would skip to the next with a charming little electronic "Veloop!" until I was so frustrated I yanked it off my arm and started fiddling with the settings until I started veering off the sidewalk and almost colliding into an unsuspecting couple walking their Polmeranians. I muttered an apology and finally found the "Ipod" category where I found what could only be the culprit. "Shake to Shuffle" and turned that handy little setting to the 'off' position. Not very practical a setting when one is jiggling around in a running-type motion.
As if that weren't annoying enough, I didn't have any playlists set up (again, because had to hightail it out the door asap) so I kept getting Brandy Carlile, Sinead O'Connor and Motzart on shuffle who, don't get me wrong are all wonderful artists, but not in this circumstance while I'm trying to pound the pavement. Finally "A Boy Named Sue" was located that put a smile on my face and off I went to the next block. Soon my headphones started their own rebellion and wouldn't stay in my right ear, so I was repeatedly screwing them in my battered ear canal with the gentleness of a jackhammer. Right around the fourth time they popped out I squealed like a stuck pig and tried to jerk it back around to the front of my neck to see if that would mitigate the nuisance and only succeeded in wrapping the cord around my hair, pulling my own ponytail so forcibly I yanked my own head back. This only heightened my aggravation to cataclysmic proportions and soon, I am embarrassed to tell you, I proceeded to whip myself around in fury. Picture me growling, flinging my arms around trying to untangle my headphones, pulling at my own hair all while still attempting a jog must have been a pretty entertaining sight to witness. I am certain it was parralell to a swarm of bees chasing me.
Only traveling about 4 blocks I knew he precise moment I resolved to surrender and turn around and head home. I had to poop.
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